What if Hanibaal were a modern day Lebanese?

Watching movies like 300, Pompeii or Gladiator always reminds me of that one History session when, as an exception, I did not sleep in class…

That session was about our very own hero, one of the greatest military commanders in history and his name was Hannibal Barca! (also pronounced HANIBAAL)


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Hannibal, a Phoenician Carthaginian general, was one of the greatest military leaders of antiquity, who commanded the Carthaginian forces against Rome in the Second Punic War (218-201 BC) and occupied much of Italy for 15 years.

But what if Hannibal were a modern day Lebanese? Would History have repeated itself?

jagalHannibal

Here are the 10 simulated would-be facts:

1- His Lebanese parents would not have named him Hannibal. He would be named a Frenchy name like Francois or Frederique … or be named like all the rest of the Lebanese people: Elie Khoury.

2- He would not have launched his Second Punic War attack on Rome, before IRAN, KSA, Syria, France and USA all agreed on it and gave him their blessing through their embassies.

3- He would have traded his three dramatic victories in Trebia, Trasimene, and Cannae for three Big Champagnes at Sky Bar.

4- He wouldn’t ride war elephants, from Iberia over the Pyrenees and the Alps into northern Italy. Instead he would have parked the Elephants at the entrance of the most popular phoenician Arguilé lounge.


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5- He would have bragged being of the Barca family and would have avoided going to combat on Champions League game nights.

6- His statue would not have been discovered amidst the old ruins of the ancient city-state of Capua in Italy. Instead it would still be standing strong in the middle of a modern day round-about and his photos hanging on all buildings signed “asdika2 Hannibal”.

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7- Being the son of General Hamilcar Barca he would have used his father’s power to install 4 digit number plates and tinted windows on all his Elephants.

8- Instead of changing rulers’ term of office from life to two-years as he did, he would have done exactly the opposite.

9- His Alps crossing would have included ski selfies sessions and hours of “bronzage” on the slopes.


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10- He would not have taken his own life by ingesting a vial of poison. He would have been shot by a stray bullet celebrating some other leader’s speech or while crossing a road between Jabal Mehsen and Beb el Tebbenee!

While we remain proud of our modern Lebanese habits, the good and the bad ones, maybe it is time some of our “modern” leaders take a pause and start studying the character of Hannibal just like one great man once did….his name was Napoleon Bonaparte.

What would you add to the list?

Sources Credit:
Phoenicia.org
Wikipedia

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5 comments on “What if Hanibaal were a modern day Lebanese?

  1. christine March 10, 2014 5:42 pm

    heheheh what I love about this post is that its informative and of course hilariously sarcastic at the same time…

  2. jocelyne haddad debs March 10, 2014 8:46 pm

    Loveeee it

  3. GelbeSchmetterling April 16, 2014 8:28 pm

    hahaha..hilarious! ich mag es sehr!!

  4. GelbeSchmetterling April 16, 2014 8:28 pm

    and… looooool@ Elie Khoury

  5. majdi rihane June 13, 2016 5:25 pm

    that if he really was Lebanese, but hannibal is Tunisian!!! so even if he would be here today, he would still be a great military general.

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