In a surprising twist of events that left everyone except Layla Abdellatif in shock, a Lebanese citizen was able to catch on Cam members of the Islamic State secretely smuggling old historical relics on the Antelias highway.
The terrorist organization, also known as ISIS or داعش, has garnered international attention after destroying ancient Assyrian statues in Iraq and seems to now be stealing Egyptian relics and smuggling them through none other than the door between east and west, the land where you ski and swim in one day, yours truly, the republic of Lebanon.
Blog of the Boss is the first to be publishing the below unseen caught on cam footage of the secret smuggling operation code named: “secret smuggling operation”.
With such an astounding discovery, all eyes turned onto the local scene and one question was on everyone’s mind: Will Lebanese historical monuments be next?
Below are our Top 5 reasons why we think ISIS will fail in destroying our Phoenician heritage:
Trying to invade the Byblos Fort, they get staunchly blocked by the Touristic Police (الشرطة السياحية) whose members arrive on scene in old Phoenician boats, wearing tall gold colored hats and courageously spraying the attackers’ eyes with Murex spray paint.
Thinking they stole valuable historical items, they will never know that our real relics are in fact safely camouflaged in the living rooms of our politician’s wives and girlfriends. #جرن_او_بونبونيار
Trying to steal an old Phoenician tomb they find themselves unable to lift it off the ground due to the tons of chips bags, cigarette packs and cola cans dumped in it.
Looking for directions by asking وين المتحف؟ they get one and only one confusing answer عالمتحف. This sends their single cell brains into an endless loop causing them to helplessly auto-suicide.
While looking for ancient dusty relics they will probably get mixed up and mistakenly destroy the décor of Télé Liban.
What do YOU think will prevent ISIS from destroying our historical monuments?
Add your own contribution to the list! Leave a comment under this post.
Thank you Jad Daniel for supplying us with the scoop photo.
Statements made in this article are not necessarly real and have the sole purpose of contributing to the satirical message being delivered. No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog post.
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