As negotiators were working day and night on a UN climate change deal in Paris, Lebanese representatives were feeling pretty uncomfortable about some intel circulating among the attendees.
In fact, while going through one particular document listing top polluters of the world per capita based on a 2014 report by the European Commission, the Lebanese audience were surprised to find that their country did not make it to the top 10 pollution standings.
With just one phone call, the entire Lebanese political system was staunchly defending its people’s right to be on this international shit list.
“For a country that worked so hard to make it to all of the world’s top 10 shit lists, including world’s top 10 worst passports and top 10 countries for gender inequality, I do not think we deserve this!” stated an open letter sent to the UN representative in Lebanon.
Meanwhile, March 14 and March 8 politicians exchanged accusations of secretly supporting private eco-friendly initiatives which caused this disaster; however, they did agree to settle for any President that can get Lebanon on that list before end of his term.
A prominent Minister spoke to Marcel Ghanem’s Kalam El Nas refusing all accusations and stating with teary eyes “The waste crisis was all a deliberate plan to get Lebanon on that international shit list. Where did we go wrong?“. When asked who’s fault it was, the Minister pointed fingers at the popular movements and so-called ecological experts constantly calling for recycling and power plant filters, ending his statement with “Now look what they’ve done!”
In an unexpected move, the government is expected to present its unanimous resignation.
They just couldn’t accept failing to fail the Lebanese people.
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