Arab computer virus threatens to wreak regional havoc

The world is officially sounding the alarm!

Newspapers and tech blogs are warning from a new computer virus originating from the Arab world and threatening to spread destruction on your very own PC.

This malware, discovered in Norton and McAfee’s Middle Eastern labs behaves in such an unexplainable pattern that it left experts baffled and incapable of devising a solution.

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The virus starts by going through your indexed Word documents and searching for any piece containing the term “opinion”. Once located, all such files are directly moved to the Recycle Bin which is then terminally emptied to leave no trace behind.

The team behind this discovery announced the news to TV stations around the world stating: “We have named the virus Y2K, similarly to the year 2000 virus, not because of its matching destructive capabilities but simply because some Arab governments have not shown any evolution in the past 15 years and thus the name still applies”.

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The destructive malware proceeds to inspecting all files’ properties and dividing them based on their differences into separate and conflicting hard disk sectors.

Furthermore, this bug strips you as an admin from all your basic rights and privileges, thus not allowing you to move, create or write without its direct permission.

Some examples of the horrific damage this malicious code may cause include cutting out sex scenes from all Youtube movies thus shortening shows like Game of Thrones into a short one episode series as well as replacing “wine” by “vinegar” in all cooking websites causing nausea and vomiting in many households.

The malware is supposed to also blank the screen or repeatedly UNDO any action whenever a woman is using the PC.

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Trying to workaround this may be something you would want to avoid as the harmful code will detect that and send the user electric shocks through the keyboard as the mouse cord moves to deliver hundreds of lashes to the powerless victim.

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On a final note, it is worth mentioning that while this virus grows strong and profilerates on western manufactured platforms, it only attacks Arab computers thus proving that this divisive behavior among Arab governments has spread to Arab technology as well.

Notice: The above is a satirical article and statements made in it are not necessarily real or factual. No animals were harmed in the making of this blog post.

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