George Clooney – Amal Alamuddin: My Big Fat Lebanese-American Wedding?

While Al Shabaka and Al Jaras remain, both, the number one source for Lebanese Celebrity Engagement scoops, this time the ground breaking news came to us from non other than internationally renown People Magazine.

A Lebanese lawyer, Amal Alamuddin, just said YES to Oscar-winning celebrity George Clooney!

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While the couple expressed that they are not planning any weddings soon, here is our own exclusive simulation of 5 things you will definitely witness at the future CLOONEY-ALAMUDDIN wedding:

PREDICTION #1

Whispers of gossip among all Lebanese invitees who will still be able to find a way to criticize a multimillion dollar Hollywood Wedding.

Attendees will report hearing old Lebanese ladies murmuring lines such as “walaw, fostan bala paillette? Mabisir!”….”Lek el 3aris shou metkabbir, min mkhamman 7alo? George Clooney?”….and of course the traditional standard question “béet Clooney men wayn?”.

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PREDICTION #2

George Clooney being a huge Obama supporter and Amal being the lawyer of Julien Assange will cause huge tension among “3aylit el 3arous” and “3aylit el 3aris”.

This will manifest itself very obviously in the pre-wedding “convoie”, where the bride’s family will be honking Assange signature car horn all the way to the Church.

The event will again be disrupted as the Lebanese invitees attack in a chaotic paranormal scene the dance floor to make Julien Assange “J” signs with their hands while “Ya Sayf El 3Al I3da Tayil” plays in the background.

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PREDICTION #3

The Clooney family is hospitalized for starvation after Lebanese invitees invade the buffet.

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However, many of these Lebanese wedding attendees will get attention from worldwide talent hunters for their ability to fit more than 150 types of food in one plate.

PREDICTION #4

Despite the fact that all Wedding invitations will include travel, accommodation, food, and entertainment all covered by George Clooney, the Lebanese invitees will definitely nag about the Liste de Marriage.

Some will even go to the extent of neglecting the bank account number and just buying the couple a home decoration item such as a “Bonbonniere” or “Sayniyyit Dekhan”.

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PREDICTION #5

The wedding, which will be held in a very secretive location away from all paparazzi, WILL find its way to the Lebanese and International media.

This will be caused by Lebanese Tante’s emailing their group photos to Mondanité, Lebanese Aamo’s Skyping the whole ceremony to their extended family abroad and of course thousands of Facebook albums entitled “Selfies at the Clooneys”.

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Although the above list is just a sarcastic description of some of our eccentric Lebanese social traditions, we cannot but express our pride that Amal is representing Lebanese women so well in the worldwide media not only by being described as pretty but also as a smart, educated and brilliant human being.

We are also confident George Clooney will enjoy discovering our funny traditions, through their good and their bad, and maybe love them as much as we do.

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3 comments on “George Clooney – Amal Alamuddin: My Big Fat Lebanese-American Wedding?

  1. Tarek April 28, 2014 2:48 pm

    Man, for moments like these, the Dabke Techno was created (refer back to the movie “Bosta” by Philippe Aractingi for instructions).

  2. GelbSchmetterling April 28, 2014 7:55 pm

    super! made my day… wilililililiiishhh

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