It has been officially announced. Doctors and Psychiatrists diagnosis has failed, Googling symptoms has failed and, quite unbelievably, the good old Lebanese habit of self prescribing medicine has also failed.
Humanity, with all its modern day knowledge, has failed to explain the weird erratic unexplainable behavior that has suddenly submerged society for the past 48 hours.
In an effort to solve the mystery, Blog of the Boss is disclosing its own diagnosis of this bizarre phenomenon.
If you, or any person in your family, is experiencing any of the below symptoms, then you are probably suffering from what we call Post-WorldCup Depression:
– Symptom 1: Wherever you go, home, church, work or bathroom, when you are alone or surrounded by people, you can still hear the voice of the BEIN commentator speaking to you, in your head, all day long. You cry.
– Symptom 2: If you ever see your grandma and her neighbor playing card games, your uncle playing backgammon or your little sister competing in jumping ropes, you feel a huge urge to guess the score and send it by SMS or submit it to a Facebook App to Win Valuable Prizes! You cry.
– Symptom 3: You get home, sit in bed, and systematically turn on Tele Liban which is now preset as number 1 on your TV station, only to discover that it’s back to black and white. You cry.
– Symptom 4: No matter what channel you are watching, cartoons, documentaries or porn, you can still see that weird black piece of BEIN code jumping around the screen at random intervals. Looking closely you notice that…it’s not really there! You cry.
– Symptom 5: You feel that restaurants are now nothing more than empty giant screens and you cannot understand why those weirdly familiar people sitting at your table are, instead of staring at the big LED’s, trying to engage in a conversation! You cry.
– Symptom 6: You are unable to go pee at your will, as you lose control over your bladder which has accustomed itself to urinate automatically every 45 minutes. You cry.
– Symptom 7: You no longer recognize products after they have all lost their World Cup branding. You order fast food from the local beer company, you drink beer from the gaz tank, …. You cry.
– Symptom 8: You try to discuss other football cups with your newly acquired football buddies (your mom), only to get empty facial reactions as football for them is something that happens once every 4 years and Copa America only reminds them of some Latin ice cream brand. You cry.
– Symptom 9: You feel an inner conflict and a deeply rooted confusion about who are the people you love and those you hate. In fact you lose all sense of emotional direction on whether you should categorize a person based on his Football preference or his Political opinion. You cry.
– Symptom 10: You hear the whistle of the Municipality Police while driving and you run systematically out of the car and offer to exchange shirts with him. You cry.
Do you relate to any of the above symptoms? If you do, do not consult your Doctor as he is powerless. Only one solution, recommended by Blog of the Boss, has proven high efficiency: waiting 4 years for the symptoms to go away!
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